Their technology remained, dead Reapers remained scattered throughout the galaxy, and the damage they had already inflicted through their incursions did not suddenly heal, but when scouts reported back from the galactic shore, they told the same story. They were gone.Commander Jane Shepard and her crew were just as surprised as anyone. Shepard herself was more than a little embarrassed, but also more than a little relieved. Life, it seemed, would go on. In time, some of her crew moved on, while others elected to stay on as part of the Spectre's retinue. Though unintentional, eventually her crew was entirely female, with Joker being the last to depart, returning to active service with the Alliance military. An upgraded EDI now piloted the ship in a synthetic body provided by Cerberus, with whom they maintained a détente after handing over the Collector Base.Her always loyal lover and ruthless master of information, Dr. Liara T'Soni, was by her side, serving as science officer and. Little did I know that ol’ General Swartzenhiemer had other plans. One fine morning I was driving my Hum-Vee down a road in Kuwait, when, like a dumb ass, I ran over an Iraqi pothole. A goddamn motherfripin’ land mine. Now, my injuries didn’t look too bad at first and even now you can hardly see the two-inch scar on my right hip that remains as a reminder but from my bellybutton to my knees I only have about five percent feeling. What does that mean you ask? Well, the most obvious is that even though I can get hard, my dick is impervious to stimuli. Nope can’t feel hardly a thing, I could hit it with a hammer and not even flinch. So with that in mind, the other obvious effect is that I haven’t been able to shoot one goddamn load of spunk for the last fifteen or so years. Oh, I tried for a couple of years, I probably bedded over a hundred concerned women that assured me that they would be able to help me. God love every one of the brave girls, they tried but all that ever happened was.
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